It's morning somewhere

You know, I don't know what these peoples' problems are, but if they have nothing better to do, but follow me around and then make fun of my behavior, they're pretty stinking lucky...

101 Ways to Annoy People

For instance - they've listed 101, but I got fed up at around number 35 when I realized that most of these already apply.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot." !!!

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.