Sunday, June 04, 2006
It's time for church
Landover Baptist Church, that is. I'm pretty happy I'm not pregnant, just about now. If Your Child Is Born on 06-06-06. That checklist for Christian mothers is awesome:
1. Ladies, keep your legs crossed until after midnight. A True Christian™ lady always keeps her knees together -- and June 6 is no time to stop. As your demon child willfully pushes and kicks, causing your lady hole to dilate to the size of a drainage pipe, keep your knees locked together at all times. This will give your demanding child a wonderful, early lesson that he can't always have his way. To underscore this valuable disciplinary message, as the devil child flops around, trying to claw its way out to the human world to do Lucifer's bidding, continue to warble in a loud voice, "La la la la la la la I CAN'T FEEL YOU!"...and that's only the FIRST suggestion of the checklist! How do the writers for that site think up these things?